Post by PeaR-ITISHA on Oct 19, 2010 0:00:41 GMT -5
Anyways I'm signing up for co-op and my sister's roommate decided to give me some advice.. I just had to share it xD
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Over the years, I have mastered the dark arts of interviews, the following is my most effective strategy.
I recommend lighting a cigarette about halfway through the interview. At first they won't realize what you're doing but after a moment the squirrely looking guy with that really irritating way of talking will shriek that you have to put it out... NOW! This is the pivotal moment. You look him dead in the eye, and take a slow deep drag, and exhale. Then as the smoke drifts about you, say in a hard calm voice, "When I'm finished". At this the squirrel man and the woman on his left will go into hysterics. "Call security!" "How could we let HER get an interview?!?" "What a disaster! The room smells like an ASHTRAY!"
Meanwhile you should finish your smoke. When it's done take it and rub the cherry out on the table in front of you, really smash the butt into the wood. At this outrage the man will demand that you leave the room... NOW! Slowly get out of your chair as if to obey. As you do this the older gentleman in the suit that had remained silent until this point will put up his hand, instantly silencing the crys of both man and woman. Then, as they gaze in disbelief, he'll walk over to you and take you by the arm in his strong embrace. And he'll say, "I like you kid. You got spunk. I want you working for me." And PK, that's how you ace an interview.
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Over the years, I have mastered the dark arts of interviews, the following is my most effective strategy.
I recommend lighting a cigarette about halfway through the interview. At first they won't realize what you're doing but after a moment the squirrely looking guy with that really irritating way of talking will shriek that you have to put it out... NOW! This is the pivotal moment. You look him dead in the eye, and take a slow deep drag, and exhale. Then as the smoke drifts about you, say in a hard calm voice, "When I'm finished". At this the squirrel man and the woman on his left will go into hysterics. "Call security!" "How could we let HER get an interview?!?" "What a disaster! The room smells like an ASHTRAY!"
Meanwhile you should finish your smoke. When it's done take it and rub the cherry out on the table in front of you, really smash the butt into the wood. At this outrage the man will demand that you leave the room... NOW! Slowly get out of your chair as if to obey. As you do this the older gentleman in the suit that had remained silent until this point will put up his hand, instantly silencing the crys of both man and woman. Then, as they gaze in disbelief, he'll walk over to you and take you by the arm in his strong embrace. And he'll say, "I like you kid. You got spunk. I want you working for me." And PK, that's how you ace an interview.
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