[A:0]
Post by Paopu on May 30, 2007 20:37:05 GMT -5
**The first is the original. The second is "supposedly the improved version. By the same person of course. I did not write these. A friend wrote it for me back in grade 8. xD Lmfao.
-IMPROVED VERSION-
Sheila stood on the sand, while the sun was shinning on her face. Her face turned light pink from the cool air against her cheeks. She was pretty bored, just standing there with nothing to do. She looked around hoping she could find someone to talk to. With luck she did, it looked as if it was a brown spiky haired boy, he looked to be about fourteen. She walked toward him, it seemed as if he was waiting for someone.
Sheila came up to him; he gazed at her with a puzzled look.
He wondered if she wanted something or if she was lost, so he said, “Hello.” Sheila snapped out of her trance and softly replied, “Hello.” He widened his grin and said, “My names Sora.” She looked at him and smiled, then said, “My names Sheila.” Sora looked at her, “If you don’t mind me saying, but…your kind of cute.”
Sheila flushed, he was pretty cute himself and coming from his was a real compliment! She was about to tell him thank you, when a girl yelling ‘Sora Sora’ and waving her hand to him cut her off. The girl had short reddish-brown hair and looked to be the same age as Sora. She had a purple-pink mini shirt on and a white tank top.
“Oh, hey Kairi,” said Sora. “Hello Sora!” Kairi stopped to catch her breathe then looked to see that there was another girl with Sora. She got a little jealous, see had never seen this girl before and why was she with Sora.
“Um….hello,” said Sheila, trying to be friendly to the other girl name Kairi. “Oh…um hello,” replied Kairi. Kairi felt uncomfortable so she grabbed Sora’s arm, and told him that she need help with something, which was a lie. Sora told her that he would help her because he was the type of person to lend a helping hand.
Kairi holding Sora’s arm pulled him forward the direction that she came from, “Come on Sora.”<br>
Sora was walking with Kairi but then looked back to see Sheila still standing there, so he released his arm from Kairi’s grip and waved at Sheila and yelled, “Bye Sheila!”
Sheila saw this and waved back and murmured bye, but decided to raise her voice so she shouted bye and waved to Sora and even to Kairi. When both Sora and Kairi were out of sight Sheila started walking, hoping she come across someone. It was lonely with no one to, Sheila walked in the direction she cam from while the air was pushing her hair back, then forward, her hair was flying everywhere. While walking on the sand and trying to push her hair in one place she thought she saw someone. She thought it was a boy so got a little more nearer. He looked to have silver-white hair and a yellow top on with strips of black on it. He was near ocean and his eyes closed. Sheila started running toward him, without even thinking if he was bad, all she could think about was that there was someone to talk to.
As soon as she was in front of him, she put on a cheery face and said, “Hello.” He didn’t answer so she decided to try again but a little more loudly, still he wouldn’t answer. She wondered if he was ignoring her or jut couldn’t hear her, so she decide to try just one more time.“He-,”
Shelia stopped before saying all of it; he was beginning to open up his eyes. Slowly he was opening them, and when he had them completely open, he gave a shocked look. He felt weird, wondering if it was the girl giving him this feeling. It was a pleasant feeling, yet strange, something he had never felt before. His heart started pounding a little faster; his cheeks turned a light pink. Coming from a calm, cold person, these were strange feelings. The young boy decide to take a step forward wanting to know what was wrong., this caused Sheila to take a step back, and accidentally hit a rock which caused her to fall back and land on the sand. She had her eyes closed; preventing the sand to get in, but slowly opened them up to see a hand reached out by the boy.
“Do you need some help?” Questioned the boy. Sheila looked at him then his hand; she blushed a little and decided to take his offer “My names Sheila.” She placed her hand on his. “My names Riku.” Sheila’s hand was on Riku’s.
Both were hand in hand.
Sheila stood on the sand, while the sun was shinning on her face. Her face turned light pink from the cool air against her cheeks. She was pretty bored, just standing there with nothing to do. She looked around hoping she could find someone to talk to. With luck she did, it looked as if it was a brown spiky haired boy. She walked toward him, it seemed as if he were waiting for someone. Sheila came up to him; he gazed at her with a puzzled look. He wondered if she wanted something or if she was lost, so he said, “Hello.” Sheila snapped out of her trance and softly replied, “Hello.” He widened his grin and said, “My names Sora.” She looked at him and smiled then said, “My names Sheila.” Sora looked at her and widened his grin, “If you don’t mind me saying, but…your kind of cute.” Sheila flushed, he was pretty cute himself and coming from his was a real compliment. She was about to tell him thank you, when a girl yelling ‘Sora Sora’ and waving her hand to him cut her off. The girl had short reddish-brown hair and a pink sweatshirt around her waist. “Oh, hey Kairi,” said Sora. “Hello Sora!” Kairi looked to see that there was another girl with Sora, and with that she got a little jealous. “Um….hello,” said Sheila, trying to be friendly to the other girl name Kairi. “Oh…um hello,” replied Kairi. Kairi felt uncomfortable so she grabbed Sora’s arm, and told him that she need help with something, which was a lie. Sora told her that he would help her because he was the type of person to lend a helping hand. Kairi holding Sora’s arm pulled him forward the direction that she came from, “Come on Sora.” Sora looked back to see Sheila still standing there, so he released his arm from Kairi’s grip and waved at Sheila and yelled, “Bye Sheila!” Sheila saw this and waved back and murmured bye, but decided to raise her voice to she shouted bye to Sora and even to Kairi. When both Sora and Kairi were out of sight Sheila started walking, hoping she come across someone. With luck she did see someone, another boy. He was near ocean and looked as if he had his eyes closed. Sheila started running toward him, without even thinking if he was bad, all she could think about was that there was someone to talk to. As soon as she was in front of him with a cheery face on said, “Hello.” He didn’t answer so she decided to try again but a little more loudly, still he wouldn’t answer. “He-,” Shelia stopped before saying it all, he was beginning to open up his eyes. Slowly he was opening them, and when he had them completely open, he gave a shocked look. He felt weird, wondering if it was the girl giving him this feeling. It was a pleasant feeling, yet strange, something he had never felt before. The young boy decide to take a step forward, this caused Sheila to take a step back, and without knowing it she had accidentally hit a rock which caused her to fall back and land on the sand. She had her eyes closed; preventing the sand to get in her eyes, but slowly opened them up to see a hand reached out by the boy. “Do you need some help?” Questioned the boy. Sheila looked at him then his hand; she decided to take his offer. “My names Sheila.” She placed her hand on his. “My names Riku.” Sheila’s hand was on Riku’s.
Both hand in hand.
Both hand in hand.
-IMPROVED VERSION-
Sheila stood on the sand, while the sun was shinning on her face. Her face turned light pink from the cool air against her cheeks. She was pretty bored, just standing there with nothing to do. She looked around hoping she could find someone to talk to. With luck she did, it looked as if it was a brown spiky haired boy, he looked to be about fourteen. She walked toward him, it seemed as if he was waiting for someone.
Sheila came up to him; he gazed at her with a puzzled look.
He wondered if she wanted something or if she was lost, so he said, “Hello.” Sheila snapped out of her trance and softly replied, “Hello.” He widened his grin and said, “My names Sora.” She looked at him and smiled, then said, “My names Sheila.” Sora looked at her, “If you don’t mind me saying, but…your kind of cute.”
Sheila flushed, he was pretty cute himself and coming from his was a real compliment! She was about to tell him thank you, when a girl yelling ‘Sora Sora’ and waving her hand to him cut her off. The girl had short reddish-brown hair and looked to be the same age as Sora. She had a purple-pink mini shirt on and a white tank top.
“Oh, hey Kairi,” said Sora. “Hello Sora!” Kairi stopped to catch her breathe then looked to see that there was another girl with Sora. She got a little jealous, see had never seen this girl before and why was she with Sora.
“Um….hello,” said Sheila, trying to be friendly to the other girl name Kairi. “Oh…um hello,” replied Kairi. Kairi felt uncomfortable so she grabbed Sora’s arm, and told him that she need help with something, which was a lie. Sora told her that he would help her because he was the type of person to lend a helping hand.
Kairi holding Sora’s arm pulled him forward the direction that she came from, “Come on Sora.”<br>
Sora was walking with Kairi but then looked back to see Sheila still standing there, so he released his arm from Kairi’s grip and waved at Sheila and yelled, “Bye Sheila!”
Sheila saw this and waved back and murmured bye, but decided to raise her voice so she shouted bye and waved to Sora and even to Kairi. When both Sora and Kairi were out of sight Sheila started walking, hoping she come across someone. It was lonely with no one to, Sheila walked in the direction she cam from while the air was pushing her hair back, then forward, her hair was flying everywhere. While walking on the sand and trying to push her hair in one place she thought she saw someone. She thought it was a boy so got a little more nearer. He looked to have silver-white hair and a yellow top on with strips of black on it. He was near ocean and his eyes closed. Sheila started running toward him, without even thinking if he was bad, all she could think about was that there was someone to talk to.
As soon as she was in front of him, she put on a cheery face and said, “Hello.” He didn’t answer so she decided to try again but a little more loudly, still he wouldn’t answer. She wondered if he was ignoring her or jut couldn’t hear her, so she decide to try just one more time.“He-,”
Shelia stopped before saying all of it; he was beginning to open up his eyes. Slowly he was opening them, and when he had them completely open, he gave a shocked look. He felt weird, wondering if it was the girl giving him this feeling. It was a pleasant feeling, yet strange, something he had never felt before. His heart started pounding a little faster; his cheeks turned a light pink. Coming from a calm, cold person, these were strange feelings. The young boy decide to take a step forward wanting to know what was wrong., this caused Sheila to take a step back, and accidentally hit a rock which caused her to fall back and land on the sand. She had her eyes closed; preventing the sand to get in, but slowly opened them up to see a hand reached out by the boy.
“Do you need some help?” Questioned the boy. Sheila looked at him then his hand; she blushed a little and decided to take his offer “My names Sheila.” She placed her hand on his. “My names Riku.” Sheila’s hand was on Riku’s.
Both were hand in hand.